Girl With an Agenda

Sorry for the long post, but it was a long and crazy night.

So Friday night was pretty fun, even though she wasn't that pretty just doing the whole cuddling and make out thing was not all that bad, so having her come back the next day wasn't a terrible idea.  She comes over fairly early in the day, around 4-5 pm and we go back to doing the cuddling thing and watching some random movie.  Neither of us are paying attention to the movie and it doesn't take long before we have our hands under each others clothes and doing some pretty heavy petting.  Unlike the night before she was not sheepish about letting me undress her and it didn't take long for her shirt to come straight off.  Clearly, we both know where this is going so while moving up her body I go for a hand down the front of her jeans.  Not a whole lot of luck in this area, the jeans were a pretty good fit, and I was going to force her belly down to get in there.  So while making out and trying to plays with her boobs I make an effort at undoing her button with the other hand.  The thing was stuck in there tighter then a virgin on prom night, and it wouldn't budge.  Determined I kept at it and eventually, like the aforementioned virgin, it came loose and popped opne.

Getting inside was not quite as pleasant I expected, and I was quickly met with an unkempt forest of pubic hair that covered the entire nether regions.  It was really unsatisfying to move across and made the journey to what lied beneath not what I really expected.  Obviously I don't stay for too long but decide that it is too late to turn back now, so we continue undressing each other.  If the movie "10 Things I Hate About You" has taught me anything, other then Heath Ledger was a bad ass in high school, it taught me that a girl wearing black underwear wants it to be seen.  So i am guessing the black bra and matching thong was there for a reason.  Deciding that the couch was a little on the public side to go any further we move into my room.  She fumbles getting me out of anything and I end up just stripping all the way down on my own.  After a few more awkward moments of making out and me hesitantly reaching for her underwear she takes it clear off, and I take that as a sign that I better go for a rubber.  To be honest, in spite of the extremely long drought in this department I actually felt like my speed with getting the condom on and my accuracy going in was fairly decent, pretty much none of the horrible fumbling about and missing like I was expecting.

We started out missionary with us making terrible efforts to kiss while she layed still and I tried to pound away, but to be honest it wasn't working and was just getting in the way.  So I give up on that and just concentrate on ignoring the fact that most of her body is wider then mine and that laying down on top of her is akin to what it must feel like to be laying ontop of the michilen man combined although with slightly bigger rack and a few less rolls.  A thought which easily quadrupled my stamina in bed.  She was also pretty loud, which was a nice confidence boost, made me feel like I was doing something right instead of being a complete idiot.  Anyways, after somewhere between 15-20 minutes we finally finish up, I roll off of her large sweaty body and go to dispose of the rubber.  At this point it wasn't even dark yet and here I was getting ready to spend the rest of the night with her.  So I get a glass of water for each of us but she hasn't really moved since we got back, she is too tired to.

Quadruple Stamina!

After taking a few sips of water and sliding a pair of boxers on I lay down in bed with her.  Her phone promptly starts going off the hook, something which we were completely ignoring  before, and she tells me her friends are having a bonfire on alki beach in Wester Seattle, sounds like fun but we don't have to be there for a while.  She clearly is already thinking of how to pass the time.  After laying there exhausted for a while she is ready for more, something which I was ready for down there but the rest of my body was still a little sore from working muscles that hadn't been used in... well some time.  Anyways, the problem was nicely averted by her getting a new condom for me, and after I fumbled and put it on, it was getting dark, she quickly and without hesitation got on top.  To be honest it felt great, but the entire thing had to be done with my eyes closed or concentrating on looking at the window which was interestingly turning from light to dark.  My hands spent most of the time on her chest, normally I would be grabbing the hips like this but I was never good at handling inner tubes.  Anyways, what felt like a good long while, long enough for it to go from light to dark, I finally finished and she finally collapsed next to me.  Neither of us really felt like moving for a while but I still had to go dispose of the condom and did so.  

Finally, we decide to go meet up with her friends on the beach, which was really cool because I had never been to West Seattle and who doesn't love a bonfire on the beach.  On the way there we just talk about never having been there and pretty much where we could get something to eat, I was starving!  After parking and walking a little ways we sit down at a really small thai place, about 6 tables, that looked out over the water and towards the Seattle skyline.  It was really amazing how this little place tucked away on the second floor of a rickety building above a loud Mexican resturaunt had such great food, atmosphere and view.  We talked about traveling and the view and spending time on beaches, none of it was incredibly engaging but it passed the time while we ate.  After paying for the check we head down to the beach and find her friends but a decent sized fire.

I noticed two things as soon as we arrived, although I guess one I noticed slightly after the other.  The first of which was that every single one of the girls there that were her friends were a extremely cute, but also wearing glitter, and that all of her friends seemed to be either 18 or 19 I don't think any of them was 21 that is fore sure.  Even though she claimed these friends weren't druggies all they seemed to want to talk about was raves and getting stoned.  I honestly wasn't impressed and spent a bulk of the night trying to get the few other guys to do stupid things with fire, this was mostly succesful.  These things included getting someone to stand in theh smoke, he was already there anyways I just goaded him into standing up, getting someone to light paper on fire and run down to the water to making burning floating paper, and trying to prop up a half burn log with another.  The last one probably doesn't make sense, and thats perfectly okay if you have no idea what I mean.  Anyways, spending time with her friends was mostly fun, and I decided to go very light on the public displays of affection (PDA) because frankly the night would have been if I was there with one of her glitter happy eye shadowed friends.  Anyways, it approached 10:30 (or maybe it was 11) and the fire had died down, so after saying good bye to her friends we went back to my place.

At this point I was pretty freaking tired, and would have been perfectly happy just going to sleep, so we go back to the couch and throw on a movie.  The movie was "Botched" and was a comedy horror, I highly recommend it.  The important part of this movie was that she spent the whole time with her hand in my pants giving me a perpetual hard on, which was all in good fun except that if I had been in a Viagra commercial it would have been time to call my doctor, a little bit of minor discomfurt as well.  This actually goes on for the entire 2 hours of the movie, pretty much from start to finish, with me hoping to fall asleep and her wanting to get it on again.  Naturally, as with all struggles between men and women, she ended up winning.  However, she was ready to give me a blowjob before we did anything else.  When she said, "You're lucky, your only the third guy I've ever done this to," I kind of recoiled, not really wanting to hear anything about her sexual history because frankly the timing for a comment like that is pretty freaking bad if you ask me.  It seems akin to me saying like, "You're the harriest person I've ever been inside of," or some equally retarded comment, but who was I to complain she was about to go down on me.   Her going down on me was a painful problem in disguise, and it became extremely obvious extremely quickly that she hadn't done it too many times.  It didn't help that she could only get it about half way in, but the real problem was her teeth.  At its worse it felt like her teeth were the only thing I could feel and at its best they were just lightly pressed against my skin.  Naturally, I didn't let that go on for too long.

To make this accurate the one on the bottom needed to be a little more then twice as wide.

So, still enfuriatingly hard from her marathong teasing session, I take her into my bedroom with the full intent of pounding her into oblivion in the most convenient way possible.  So I get her on her hands and knees and we do it doggy style for a while.  This was actually the best position all night because I didn't see any rolls, she had a pretty good ass, and I could be content with making whatever facial expression I wanted, which usually involved something very non-chalant because I was pretty tired at this point.  However, she was still being loud so I told her to bury her face in a pillow and not wake the neighbours.  She obliged, but i made her moans a little bit, it was the best thing she had going for her in bed.  So after going at it for who knows how long, I think somewhere between 20 minutes and half an hour, I decide that I have had enough, and to be honest faked an orgasm to show that I was done.  It was ok because by the feel and look of things it seemed as though she had her fair share of what she was after during the night.  As a result I went to throw out the condom and she lay in the bed, and didn't move for a good 20-30 ore minutes. 

At this point I am absolutely beat, and it would have been great to just fall asleep and take her home the next day, but she insisted on being taken home tonight.  So I throw on some pants and a shirt while she scowers my apartment for all of her clothes and we get in the car.  The first thing that I realize is that my legs are insanely tired, so much so that I had to move my seat forwards to push the pedals easily.  The second thing I noticed was that whenever I was driving she kept her hand on the inside of my thigh, kind of frustrating but my pelvic area wasn't going to do much other attach my legs to my torso at this point anyways so it didn't bother me.  Finally, I dropped her off and went home to go to sleep.  Where I ended up sleeping until about 3 in the afternoon, the girl really kept me up a lot.

So it was nice finally geting that kind of action again but to be honest there is no real long term potential.  Other then the lack of physical attraction I had towards her she also seemed kind of immature, and hung around too many druggies.  Anyways, it was still good times over all and hopefully the next girl I get that far with can be a bit skinnier.  Next date is tomorrow at around 1:15ish, going to get lunch and see an imax movie.  I think this one is going to be fun.

Not Quite Scary Movie Night

So the girl from April 23rd and I hung out on Friday night.  She is pretty savy with the bus system so it was nice not actually having to pick her up.  The night started with me walking out to the street to see her because she got lost and was walking in circles.  My mind must have been decieving me because she didn't look nearly as good as she did wednesday, but at least she smelled nice and was really nice still.  So we go into my apartment and we spend the first hour or so looking at movies to watch and she couldn't come to a decision.  She claimed she wanted to watch a scary movie but none of the 18 that I had available to stream on netflix were interesting to her.  I was kind of getting fed up so we ended up putting on "The New Guy" which is not scary at all, and happens to be about high school.  This was oh so much fun because it involved her telling me about her druggy past and me reliving painful memories of having no friends and things of that nature.  Honestly sitting through the first movie was more painful then a Rosie Odenell marathon with a migraine.  Nothing I wanted to talk about and not something I wanted to watch, so naturally I grab a beer, she doesn't want anything to drink which is a little dissapointing.  I just needed to loosen up.

The second movie we watched was a Swedish film called "Let the Right One In" which is a coming of age vampire tail, really something I never expected to find waiting for me on Netflix.  It was actually really good and during the course of the movie she moved from one end of the couch to basically next to me, it was a good transition.  So we move onto the final movie, whose name escapes me, and I get my arm around her and we are cuddling, sorry but it wasn't very interesting.  Except I wasn't very interested in the movie so I pretty much spent the entire time trying to get her to turn her head so we could start making out.  It was really awkward, because I was trying to caress the far side of her face so she would turn but was being as still as a statue.  I don't even really remember the movie while I was in this epic battle with her oblivious reaction to my advances, it wasn't even like she was having a negative reaction just stone cold sitting there.  Anyways, the movie was coming to a close she still wasn't turning her head at all, so it was time to take som drastic measures.  After an hour and a half of ignoring me trying to get her face to turn she reacted pretty damn positivley to me caressing her boob from under her shirt but above her bra.

Now you get the unfortunate description of her body type because I don't really think I posted it before.  She was about 5'3" on the chubby side, didn't really have much of a chin and had small boobs for a girl her size, but they were about a handful.  She had good lips to kiss but to be honest wasn't a very good kisser.  Her belly came out past her boobs and was more then a little bit of fat, but oh well it was still good times.

So I get my hand out of her shirt and we start making out, mainly just her getting further and further on my lap with our lips locked.  Honestly, I have never met someone with such a short tongue though.  I don't think it ever went out past her teeth which was getting a little frustrating because I didn't actually understand for a while how she really wanted to kiss me.  So we continue this for a while and for reasons which I don't remember now she got up and looked out of the view from my apartment (which happens to be the space needle).  So I pull out a mattress that I keep in my living room, don't ask me why I do that because this is the most use it has ever gotten, and tell her to come lay down in it with me.  However, this wasn't the best idea because it made it fairly easy to see that she was wider then I was.  Not that it mattered too much because I kept my hands primarily on her chest, which worked just fine for both of us based on the noises she kept making.   For a long time I am just trying to get her shirt off with her saying, "not yet," to me even though she ended up letting me unhook her bra.  It was a pretty good make out session and using the mattress looking out into the city was a pleasant experience.  However, driving her home at 3 am was a bitch but it wasn't the worse thing that ever happened.  The night was good and she came back Saturday, I'll tell you all about in on Wednesday.

Randomly placed mattress seemed relevant enough, or! is this forshadowing my next post?

Russian Accents and Coffee Hipsters

So thursday I sipped coffee and did homework with a very interesting girl who moved from Russia to Seattle 5 years ago.  She had a really great body, nice hair and an alright smile, not great but not spectacular.  I got a coffee, which I hate doing because I don't know how to order regular coffee at these kinds of small places.  It takes like 6 questions just to get my $1.50 small coffe, and the guy behind the counter gives off this vibe like there is no way in hell I'm hip enough to be in his store.  Also, everyone else who was in the coffee shop looked so phony that they must be mass produced.

So I grab my small coffee and sit down across from the Russian girl and naturally I ask her about school and things like that.  What I found out, is that she graduated from high school at 15 and makes a lot more money then I do now at 19.  She was as cold and blunt as being hit with a sledgehammer made out of ice.  Hwever, it was a pretty interesting conversation because she came off like a good natured bitch, I don't know if that makes sense.  I thought working for 40 hours a week and my one class was hard but she is both a full time student and a full time employee at Microsoft, so naturally I came off like a slacker.  She seemed pretty turned off by almost everything I said, but then she also seemed to actually be talking to me instead of waiting for her turn to speak, which was a welcomed change to the past couple of posts.  Maybe it just shows that I honestly had no idea what I was doing there, and obviously I wasn't getting very much homework done.  What was nice, was after being bitch a little condescending but also laughing at my jokes and stories.  When we left to go on our seperate ways, and her bragging about her car to me and saying mine was crap, she said she had fun.  She told me that I have her number and know her schedule so I should call her some time, who would have guessed.  It was very nice not having a conversation with someone where all you do is beat around the bush waiting to make your point.

Russia is huge, a lot bigger then America I mean A LOT!

Friday night was fun, catch the post later in the week.

Drugs, Hugs, and cruising at 2 AM

At 11 PM, when I am usually getting ready to go to sleep, I drive on up to the u-district to meet a girl who had only started talking to me the night before.  However, my phone is dying and I honestly have no freaking clue where I am, so I get to look like an idiot by calling her four times and wondering where I'm supposed to be.  I finally park, and continue to text/call her a few more times because my phone is dying on me.  Now, with a dead phone and no clue where I am I stand on the street corner like a hooker near a naval base wondering where the next trick will come from, and trust me it is not fun.  After what felt like half an hour, but was really only 5 minutes, a larger girl and a smaller girl who was smoking finally came out to greet me.  We sat there talking about random stuff and living in the u-district while the friend sized me up and decided I was allowed to come in.  So we walk up a few rickety flights of stairs and into a studio apartment that is about the size of my room with a bathroom attached.  With no seating I lie on my back on the floor and begin to hear the friend (the skinny smoker) yammer away about all the different things she has said/done to people while on drugs, and I'm not talking about weed.  I couldn't even get a word in if I tried, her mouth ran like air conditioning in Arizona and her laugh was some terrible mix of Fran's (from the Nanny) and the squeal of a pig.  I'm sure it didn't help that she was completely wasted when we first went into the apartment and had only been drinking more.  The night got interesting when another one of their friends came to hang out with us, he was a hipster guy who I got along with surprisingly well, maybe because he was the only one making an effort to talk to me.  However, my introduction to him was him thinking it makes him cool to "Ironically" like a band, and being completely serious.  I forgave him, but then he said the south was a cool place with a lot of dignity, and that people in other parts of the country who lived in similar areas were pathetic, so I had to put him in his place.  It wasn't so much of a discussion as a one sided slaughter, I hope I changed his point of view.  Anyways, with the drunk druggy beginning to retake over the conversation, and even interrupted me and the friend in our conversation so it was time to move on.  Fortunatley, they were going out for a smoke so it was a good time to follow them out and go home.  The girl I was originally there to meet asked for a ride home so I decided it would be a good time to exchange more then two words with her.

The car ride home was the best part of the night, it is just a shame it happened at 2 in the morning.  We talked about our lives and I had to ask her about all the drugs and her friend.  She claims to be clean but that she was a big (figurativley not literally ass holes) raver chick before but not she doesn't do any of that anymore, except get stoned but who doesn't.  So I drove around in circles for a while enjoying her company and we talked about things but I don't really remember because at this point I was pretty freaking tired.  Finally I dropped her off at the apartment where she lives and she teasingly told me that if I was lucky I would see her again on Friday.  She wanted me, it was kind of nice.  Hmmm, looks like no hugs were to be had, sorry.

Late Night and Last Minute

Hey Everyone, tonight after playing some Settlers of Catan with friends I will be heading out for a late night excursion in the U-District.  Interesting part about tonight is that I had already made plans with her on Friday, so assuming that everything runs smoothly tonight the day after tomorrow could be very interesting for all of us.  She is an insomniac and has three cats, so I'm not really sure if that means anything.  Her online pictures were as inconsistant as a politician during election year so she could be cute as a kitten or the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons.  Either way, if I don't make things awkward I will probably hit her up again on Friday, what do I have to lose?

The First of Many

Hopefully my updates won't be this late after dates in the future but thats what happens when you think up of something a week after the fact.  Anyways, for the sake of the dates I will keep the names fake, though possibly related.

Anyways, onto the date, who we will call her Kelly for the sake of this post.

The Build Up:
I got Kelly's number the morning of the date, and naturally I called it.  We spent the next three hours talking about everything from out looks on life to video games, and she thinks that I have her dream job.  It was really nice and the conversation went really naturally, although sometimes I got a little bit more information then I really needed to, especially about exes and medical history.  It really didn't bother me all that much because for the most part I had a lot of fun talking to her.  So after talking for about three hours she said she had to go to a family friend's birthday, we hung up and I got a haircut and some misc. errands done.  She called me up after she was finished with her friend's party and I went to pick her up, this was about 6 or so.  Living in Seattle made the drive down to Tacoma feel pretty long but in all honesty it isn't that bad.

Initial Impression:
Kelly is about 5'2" and full figured.  Great tits and ass and very full and kissable lips.  Smiled immediatley, very warm and friendly and was for the most part what I would describe as cute.  She is also a pacific islander, and 20 years old.

The Date:

I told her about my friend's 21st birthday and she said she wanted to go, saying she had never been to one that wasn't held by hood rats, which are what her friends all are.  So all my friends are super nice and love meeting new people so I saw no problem with inviting her, neither did anyone else although I know it made her nervous.  The car ride from Tacoma to Redmond was nothing at all like our phone conversation.  I honestly didn't really know what to say to her, and I would ask questions but none of it really led to very long conversations, and she didn't seem to want to ask me a heck of a lot.  She noted my ackward quitness which really didn't make me want to speak up at all.  Her phone was also going off the hook constantly, which was a little distracting at times all night.  

We get to the party and I'm saying hello to all my friends and she is talking to everyone and everthing is going really great.  I play beer pong with my friends through a lot of the night and she doesn't want to play.  So between every game I make a note of checking up on her and making sure she is getting along with everyone.  Believe it or not she thought that was weird, making a note of it in her analytical analysis of me and all my friends.  Honestly, it was extremely weird and only got worse throughout the course of the night.  

So the party is beginning to slow down and a lot of people are leaving.  However, she is taking shots with people still and getting drunker and drunker while I am sobering up to drive us back to my place.  At about 3 AM I am ready to head off but she insists I don't look sober enough to drive, so she decided to spend the next hour talking to some people there about increasingly ackward subjects.  After going into one friend's lack of social skills and anothers failing marriage she decides to let everyone know about not ever wanting to get chemo thereapy again.  If I wasn't sober enough before believe me this next hour sure as hell sobered me up.  Learning that a person would rather die then get chemotherapy (again btw) is really not first date material, but then again I guess neither was the rest of the night.  She was also being fairly flirty with a couple of my friends not realizing how seriously some of them would take it in their drunken state, and because of their social history.  Honestly, I don't hold anythng that happens later against them.

Finally at about 3:45 she is ready to go, she holds onto my arm going out to the car which I thought was kind of nice; really, the full effect of how odd this night would sound when being retold hadn't hit me yet.  She spends most of the car ride back giving me an analytical analysis of everyone at the party, including thinking things like a friend's closet homosexuality, and saying some fairly rude things about some of my less social friends.  I just smile and nod because I don't really know how to respond to things like that, for the most part I am quiet, the oddity of the night slowly creeping into my thoughts.

We get back to my place and I let her use some pajama pants of mine and I strip down to just boxer briefs.  We get into my bed together and to be honest I just want to fall asleep, so I put my arm around her and try to fall asleep.  However, she grabs my hand and puts it under her shirt.  Lets be honest, no self respecting man would not grab a handful of that rack given the chance, and naturally we start making out.   I slide my hand downwards when she informs me that she is on her period...  Obviously my hand stops, and any other thoughts were then forgotten as she goes down on me.  However, she is very drunk and to be honest it is a little on the sloppy side, not that I mind except that her phone starts going crazy.

After it ringing 3-4 times in a row she tells me it might be something important and that she needs to go pick it up.  I'm thinking, are you fucking serious?  She was, and she goes to pick up her phone and it ends up being one of my friends from the party.  So here we are her without a shirt on and me waiting for her to go back down on me and she is talking to my drunk friend from the party, and she refuses to just hang up the phone and come back to bed.  After trying for a few minutes I give up, and she finally hangs up the phone.  Obviously anything that was going to happen is completely out of the question.  She gets dressed, goes out for a smoke and takes her phone with her.  On her way out of my bedroom she asks if the blowjob was good.  I say yeah it was alright, although how good can BJ cut short and interrupted by a phone call really be?  Well she can see right through my lie and gets offended that I didn't faun all over it.  Anyways, I've had enough so she goes out for her smoke and I wait for her to get back so I can fall asleep.

The next day I wake up freezing, realizing that I have pretty much no covers on me and that I'm freezing cold.  So i'm trying to cuddle up with her but she keeps inching away from me and rolling over the covers a little more.  It was very ackward and I eventually went ahead and put on my robe for warmth, slide back into bed and try to get some more shut eye.  Not happening, she has already woken up and is slowly getting up and trying to figure out what to do about her hang over, and the fact she is still a little drunk.  The conversation for the next few hours mostly consisted of me trying to get her to drink water, and her wishing I would stop trying to be so helpful. 

The car ride back was actually a lot similar to the car ride up, except shes hung over and I'm chuckling at the fact that she didn't remember making out with me, but she remembers to talking to my drunk friend on the phone.  I let her off and I get my ass home.  We talked a few more times during the next week but really there isn't a lot of potential there.

There you have it, it was weird crazy, at times fun, and one hell of a story, I hope the rest of this blog can live up to that night.

Overall Rating: Well all my friends really liked her and I'm sure she is a little bit more interesting in bed off her period and able to remember whats going on, but a little too much information for having just met her, and clearly a little bit on the crazy side.  3 Star rating, but a 5 star story for later.  We should still be friends... maybe.